March 3, 2014
I love being a missionary. This week was so great! Although this area I am in is far from "booming" in missionary standards, I see so many miracles. Overall its just a blessing to feel that God is providing us with opportunities to bring souls closer to Christ, which is our missionary purpose. One day at the visitor center there was a couple that was praying outside by the temple. I saw them as they walked in and they went straight to my desk in the back. I asked them how I could help them but they just replied that I probably couldn't, and they were just coming in to feel the spirit and receive an answer to prayer. Nonchalantly before they left to roam by themselves, they asked me where I was from. As I replied I was from North Carolina, the woman looked like she was going to faint and the man started laughing. They had just gotten a call today about relocating because their branch of Wells Fargo was closing down. They had just said a prayer to know where they were supposed to move. They had about 6 options but they kept having NC stick out to them for no apparent reason. They are both from California so they knew nothing about that side of the country and knew no one previously from NC. As I talked to them more I was able to answer all their questions they had at the time about NC and they left feeling extremely excited, and they felt that they have received their answer. They even asked about the Raleigh temple because they were married a year ago and are recent converts so they will be getting sealed in the Raleigh Temple. It's amazing to see how fast sometimes God answers prayers. They had just been praying about where it was that God wanted them to start their family, and for some confirmation that the feeling they were recieving about NC was truly from God, and the first person they talk to was from North Carolina. I just counseled them to continue to pray about it but to consider following the answers that God has already given them. As they left the visitor center I saw them giddily nudge each other and say "well that was weird" and the man said "well that was awesome!!!" and they left looking very excited. One of the most amazing feelings is knowing that you were an answer to somebody's prayer. That's one of the best things that we can pray for -- praying that God will trust us to be an instrument in his hands to answer somebody's prayer that day. It has recently been strangely really hard to have people come with us to lessons. We were working hard all week to reach our goal for lessons.... Last night some things fell through but we did have somebody with us for a lesson so we prayed and we went to somebody else's house and ended up having a miracle lesson. The spirit was so strong that we felt that it was a direct answer to our faithful desires and diligence we were exercising. She had had a tough weekend, and we werent scheduled to see her for 5 more days, but it quickly became apparent that she was in need of people to talk to RIGHT THEN. It was the absolute last opportunity to fit in a lesson for the week and of course God provided a way to help his child, as well as to answer our prayers. It was one of my favorite days of my mission yesterday as we had some great lessons as well as the Gilbert Temple dedication! The day before was a cultural celebration and it was raining so hard. Everybody has been praying for rain here and of course the day that the prophet comes, it rains cats and dogs! I'm so surprised there werent any injuries because people were dancing around in the rain all night and in the mud. It was pretty cheesy but it was a lot of fun and it really helped me to appreciate Arizona. It was also pretty amazing to be there for the dedication of the Gilbert Temple in the stake center people all over Arizona had church canceled and just came for that. The spirit was really strong as the prophet spoke and president Eyring, along with the temple president and his wife spoke. Pres. Monson was his usual funny self during the Cornerstone ceremony as he called out to people outside of the temple letting them know they were wearing his favorite color and giving hugs to all the kids. The Gilbert Temple really is beautiful, I'm so excited to be able to go through it when I come back to Arizona. It's going to be the new hotspot for weddings in Arizona I can feel it :-) Although it doesn't make up for the dreadful rest of the year, Im obligated to admit that February and March in Arizona is beautiful. It's also great because of all the orange blossoms and everybody just goes around picking citrus from trees because there is so much of it. I get grapefruits oranges tangelos and lemons daily and I might be a little bit sick of citrus at this point but it smells so good outside! I just get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about three or four months from now. But I will try to enjoy the time at hand. The Spencer family that we live with will be coming back from California today. It's been pretty nice having the house to ourselves that I can't wait to see those cute kids again! A little 2 year old girl came in yesterday and her name was Samantha she was dressed in a tutu. As I was wondering why I recognized her skin tone and coloring, her dad told me her mother was filipino. She looked just like Lily at that age, and it was so nice to see somebody that reminds me of Lily at the time I left for my mission. She really liked talking about Jesus with me in front of the big statue :) Man I miss my family! I love you guys so much. I can't wait to be back with you again, but I know in 7 months it will be hard to leave this place too. My heart is now split between the two places, but I know it's just temporary here and that I need to be with my family when my work is done here :). I can't wait to hug Lily, Brooklyn, and the 2 babies when I get home. Watch out.... I won't let them go!!! Oh and a big brother, sister, and mommy and daddy hug will be amazing too! I might knock you all down with my enthusiasm :):) Daddy-- happy happy birthday you old geizer!! I love you bunches and bunches!!! How did y'all celebrate? How was the fairy princess bday party? Pictures please! love you!! Have a great week and have fun with all the things to celebrate at this time of year in the family! Sister Becca Younce ps. Sorry if there are major mistakes in my email! I tried to write it with Siri today :)
February 27, 2014
Hey!
So I am feeling rather cheery! I am so sorry this email is going to be long-winded. But, I am just that excited! I do believe that this past weekend was the turning point of my mission. I had been feeling the passion for the work I am doing slowly drain from me. In the last few months I have been praying for the zeal, power, and desire to serve that I once had. Over the past few days I felt God begin to answer my prayer at last, but it took a lot of work on my part to get to that point. Just because we ask for something doesnt mean God will give things to us right away, or even at all. I had to plead for months to get that feeling back and I had to keep working hard in the meantime. I knew I needed an increased desire to serve -- I DESIRED a DESIRE to do the Lord's work and to do His will.
"yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. (Alma 32:27)"
This has made me think a lot about where I am at in my eternal progression. Am I using the power of the atonement every day to become stronger and more pure? I have recognized my personal weaknesses and shortcomings for a very long time, in fact an obsession over my weaknesses is much of what caused me emotional turmoil as a teenager. But recognizing is only the first step! We then need to get on our knees in humility and pray for strength and desire to become better and overcome our human frailties. Then, you get up and get to work! Even if that desire to change is just a little mustard seed, you act upon that in faith, and it will grow within you.
I have been coasting for so long, and I knew I needed to change. I kept on working, but that passion was missing. I had lost sight of my goal.
What a blessing it has been to be in these 2 wonderful wards! I have felt the spirit so strongly, and I have been so uplifting but each meeting and lesson. During a particularly wonderful sacrament meeting yesterday, there were 2 recently returned missionaries that spoke. One was a girl that had experienced a nearly fatal car crash in high school, and due to continuing complications she had to return 6 months early from her New England mission. The other was a boy that had served a humbling mission in Mozambique. As the Returned sister spoke, I felt the spirit so strongly that it nearly overwhelmed me. It had been months since I felt the spirit even half that strong. (yes those ruts even happen to missionaries too!) She spoke about how to be truly converted, and how to start that conversion through meaningful prayer. Although she was surely dissapponted to have returned early, I was caught off guard by the power and conviction as she stated, "I have been truly converted, my dear brothers and sisters."
I saw myself in that instant standing at the podium to give my homecoming talk at church. I am not there yet, but I know that is what I want to be able to say when I get home, with just as much power. It was a powerful experience for me.
After a busy and exciting evening, we got home yesterday and Sister Hamstead and I began right away to make goals for ourselves. Her goals were all dealing with once she was home and how she would stay just as strong spiritually. My goals are for what I want to focus on and achieve by the time I am at the end of this 18 months.
We all need goals. Otherwise we are in a boat with one paddle and no sign of shore. You go in circles, just hoping it might be in the right direction.
I want to be able to say at the end of my mission that I truly used the Atonement in my life, and became who I was meant to become on this mission. I think though, that is what we all want to be able to say when we see God and our Savior Jesus Christ once again. We all hope we can someday say, "I have tried my very best" and God will see into our pure hearts and welcome us into His kingdom.
Along with my thoughts on the power of the atonement to overcome complacency, I have also been thinking about what else God wants me to change. I have been thinking a lot lately about "envy". Its something I never had recognized in myself, but I realize has been one of the biggest henderences to my progression for quite some time. When others are up, why is it that I want to bring them down so that I can be "up" instead? What is that knot in my stomach that I feel? The answer: Envy.
Here is an exerpt from a talk by elder Holland that I found particularly meaningful:
"Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.
It has been said that envy is the one sin to which no one readily confesses, but just how widespread that tendency can be is suggested in the old Danish proverb, “If envy were a fever, all the world would be ill.” The parson in Chaucer’sCanterbury Tales laments it because it is so far-reaching—it can resent anything, including any virtue and talent, and it can be offended by everything, including every goodness and joy. As others seem to grow larger in our sight, we think we must therefore be smaller. So, unfortunately, we occasionally act that way."
Because God was mindful of my desire to overcome envy ( I have been studying about it for 3 weeks now), he put an opportunity in front of me-- I was able to witness a powerful, pure, and beautiful baptism on Saturday night. A woman was baptized that Sister Hamstead and her former companion had taught in my first area! They had followed the spirit to find her 100%, and although it was a long road, she is now baptized! It was so touching to watch this mom who has been battered and abused look up at her 2 little boys before she went into the water. then as she came up out of the water, she just cried tears of happiness. She reached out her arm to her boys and whispered, "everything's gonna be alright." and she admitted that was the first time she had ever said that with surety. The burdens of her past have been erased, and her future is ahead of her. All because of our Savior Jesus Christ. As I watched the missionaries and friends surround her, I did not feel like smiling, though that would be the christlike reaction. Instead, Envy almost overtook me as the Sisters stood up and directed the program, and I sat in the back by myself while everyone else was happy, and I was falling into my judgmental and lonely zone. I became green with envy, and I suspect I looked a little like the Grinch. Suddenly all I was beginning to see were the flaws in the baptismal program, and I began to pick apart the other missionaries. But then time seemed to stand still, and I recognized the moment I was experiencing as that crucial moment. No one was forcing this envy or sick feeling upon me, but it was up to me. How was I going to react?
I chose to feel joy and to find happiness in other's happiness. I chose to rejoice in their rejoicing. It was the single-most liberating moment I can remember ever feeling. I was giddy with excitement the entire rest of the night and nothing could bring me down. WE choose our reactions, and those feelings we get are often of our own doing. We choose to take offense. WE choose to let the sickness of pride and envy twist our sour stomaches till there is no sign of positivity left in us.
It may not seem like a big thing, but to me it meant the world. I am one big step closer to being liberated, and I can tell you that the atonement is real. Our character flaws are meant to be temporary, and are NOT a part of our eternal identity. I have made a decision to lift others ALWAYS, and to never let the bitter taste of envy settle in my heart again.
Family and friends, I know this has been a rather heavy and unorganized email today. I'm sorry about that. I suppose this desire to share comes because I have felt the power of the atonement once again in my life, and now all I want is for others to partake in the sweetness that it brings.
Ask yourselves, who is it that God wants me to be? Then fall on your knees and plead for the strength to get there, then get up and get to work on becoming that person!
This area is amazing. I only have 4 short weeks left with Sister Hamstead, but we are going to make the most of them! I feel myself becoming once again an instrument in the hands of God here, and that is what I truly want to be. I pray for you constantly! Thank you for all you do!!!! I am so proud of my family :) (the healthy "pink with pride" kind of pride :)
I love you all!!!
Sister Becca Younce
PS. An activity I have for all of you! Go watch "the Other Prodical Son" on lds.org, then put yourselves in his shoes. Enjoy!
